What we think!
I have been reading a devotional with my husband, Dwayne, this year and it's been such a good book I wish everyone would buy it and read it. Every day there is such a good word to walk away with. This month there have been so many good things to ponder and to re-examine.
One of the areas where I feel the Lord has really grown me in is in the area of Disciplining how I think. You know the verse that says, "Take every thought captive".
Isn't it cool how we can look back over the year and see the ways the Lord uses situations, events, and people to teach us lessons.
I never really realized how out of control my thought life was until I had a huge break down in communication with someone who I thought was a very dear and close friend. It was so painful to hear her say very hurtful and attacking things about me that it really did cause me step back and evaluate who I was. I take my friendships very seriously. When I call someone a good friend it really is because I have found that person to be someone who I feel betters me and causes me to want to be a better person. I do not use that word very often and I can truly count on one hand the number of GOOD friends I've had over the years.
I realize that friends even though they are good sometimes are for a season. I can think of several Good friends I've had during different seasons of life that had I not had them I think I would have had a hard time making it through that season of life. They were a great source of comfort, encouragement, strength, wisdom, sounding blocks and most importantly helped correct my wrong thinking.
It is never easy to be blind sided though and to hear someone say things about you and to hear them attack you. I guess as I look back on this event now I am thankful for what it has produced in me. I can honestly say that it allowed me to see what kind of person I was being without even realizing it.
What kind of person is that, you ask?
Well, it's the kind of person who see something happen and assumes the worst not in every event but with a select group of people. Assumes that it was meant for harm. It's the kind of person when something happens tries to see the positive but rehashes the event over and over which eventually blows it out of proportion.
I had been doing this with a handful of people in my life. Mostly those who I wanted a closer friendship with but it wasn't reciprocal. I tend to want deep friendships and have a hard time accepting it when people don't want that with me. I mean I think I'm a pretty nice person. :)
Actually it goes a bit deeper than that but thats another blogging moment. ;)
Anyway, the Lord used this event to really teach me how important it was to let things go and not dwell on them. To allow an event to happen without obsessing about it. To not think more deeply about what was said nor think I could even really understand what the other person meant or intended to say. I had to learn not to read more into what was being said than what was actually being said. MAN IT WAS HARD! Two things I had actually allowed to get totally out of control are : Assumptions, Presumptions....
But in this situation that actually drug on for years... finally - I was able to say, Okay. I can't make people want to reconcile. I can't make people believe the truth or accept my apologies, I can't make people understand or see the situation from my point of view and I surely couldn't make people believe the best about me.
However - I could do all those things for them. I could reconcile and say Your forgiven, I could believe the truth and accept their apologies when the time came that they offered it. I could be willing to understand and see the situation from their point of view and I most definitely could believe the best about them.
It has changed how I see conflict - how I perceive people and their actions.
It has made me wish I had learned this lesson years ago.....
Because friends really Good friends ~
are hard to come by.
I have been reading a devotional with my husband, Dwayne, this year and it's been such a good book I wish everyone would buy it and read it. Every day there is such a good word to walk away with. This month there have been so many good things to ponder and to re-examine.
One of the areas where I feel the Lord has really grown me in is in the area of Disciplining how I think. You know the verse that says, "Take every thought captive".
Isn't it cool how we can look back over the year and see the ways the Lord uses situations, events, and people to teach us lessons.
I never really realized how out of control my thought life was until I had a huge break down in communication with someone who I thought was a very dear and close friend. It was so painful to hear her say very hurtful and attacking things about me that it really did cause me step back and evaluate who I was. I take my friendships very seriously. When I call someone a good friend it really is because I have found that person to be someone who I feel betters me and causes me to want to be a better person. I do not use that word very often and I can truly count on one hand the number of GOOD friends I've had over the years.
I realize that friends even though they are good sometimes are for a season. I can think of several Good friends I've had during different seasons of life that had I not had them I think I would have had a hard time making it through that season of life. They were a great source of comfort, encouragement, strength, wisdom, sounding blocks and most importantly helped correct my wrong thinking.
It is never easy to be blind sided though and to hear someone say things about you and to hear them attack you. I guess as I look back on this event now I am thankful for what it has produced in me. I can honestly say that it allowed me to see what kind of person I was being without even realizing it.
What kind of person is that, you ask?
Well, it's the kind of person who see something happen and assumes the worst not in every event but with a select group of people. Assumes that it was meant for harm. It's the kind of person when something happens tries to see the positive but rehashes the event over and over which eventually blows it out of proportion.
I had been doing this with a handful of people in my life. Mostly those who I wanted a closer friendship with but it wasn't reciprocal. I tend to want deep friendships and have a hard time accepting it when people don't want that with me. I mean I think I'm a pretty nice person. :)
Actually it goes a bit deeper than that but thats another blogging moment. ;)
Anyway, the Lord used this event to really teach me how important it was to let things go and not dwell on them. To allow an event to happen without obsessing about it. To not think more deeply about what was said nor think I could even really understand what the other person meant or intended to say. I had to learn not to read more into what was being said than what was actually being said. MAN IT WAS HARD! Two things I had actually allowed to get totally out of control are : Assumptions, Presumptions....
But in this situation that actually drug on for years... finally - I was able to say, Okay. I can't make people want to reconcile. I can't make people believe the truth or accept my apologies, I can't make people understand or see the situation from my point of view and I surely couldn't make people believe the best about me.
However - I could do all those things for them. I could reconcile and say Your forgiven, I could believe the truth and accept their apologies when the time came that they offered it. I could be willing to understand and see the situation from their point of view and I most definitely could believe the best about them.
It has changed how I see conflict - how I perceive people and their actions.
It has made me wish I had learned this lesson years ago.....
Because friends really Good friends ~
are hard to come by.
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