A Mom Moment

My Mom Moment



"Justin, don't be afraid- today you will either wake up to see Jesus or your family here on earth."

That's how my day ended on May 16th, 1999 in rural Lijiang, China. My life as a mom had been so full of joy and happiness up until May of 1999 I really didn't know to many real hardships that would cause my world to be shaken as a mom. My mom moment is really about realizing my love for my child can never exceed the love my Savior has for my child and realizing that I must be the best mom today because I may not have tomorrow to make it up.

Our middle son, Justin, was only 9 years old and was playing outside in rural China. It was rainy and cold but as usual Justin and his little sister could always find something to pass the time. On this day they were playing tag on the front steps of our apartment building. The doors going into the building were all glass and as Justin raced quickly to the finish line which were the front doors. His little sister tripped and fell behind him. In an attempt to keep him from winning she grabbed his heel which then caused a series of events that changed us all for life. He fell head long into the glass doors. CRASH! up she jumped and there was Justin sitting at the door telling his sister to run and get Alian, our helper. He pulled his arm out of the door and realized quickly he was in trouble. Blood began to pour from his wounds. Fear gripped him but thankfully a young Malaysian friend came to his aide and applied pressure. Knowing the wound was life threatening they rushed him to the nearest hospital.

We were just arriving back home from town and Josh our oldest son came running toward us yelling, "Justin's been hurt, he's at the hospital!" I quickly jumped out of the car and ran to the front of our building. There before me was a pool of blood. I knew then it was serious and all I remember saying out loud was, " Lord, I'm not sure I can handle what awaits me. Give me strength to accept what it is you have for us." I held back the panic and went to the hospital.

Justin was sitting in a room with some friends waiting for his momma to come to his aide. I'm sure in his little mind he thought , my momma will make it better. And she would assure him everything would be alright. But this time, mommy couldn't promise those things. Tears ran down both our faces as we considered the options before us. Do we go into surgery in rural china and risk death but possibly it could save his arm? Or do we wait for medical evacuation and risk both death and the loss of his arm? Nothing was more challenging than this moment as a mom. I remember thinking, "Lord, I know you have plans for Justin and they are not to harm him but to prosper him but this sure looks like harm." I had to hold firm to the truth I knew and that was sometimes harm is necessary to prosper us.... Oh I didn't want to continue on this path but that still small voice spoke to me.

"My child, I love him more than you could ever know. Do you trust me?" I feel sure only the Lord could have been speaking these words to my heart and I answered, " Oh Lord, I do want to trust you, but he's my son! My little Jussy"

The decision had to be made quickly and after talking to the doctors I decided to go to surgery. Mind you, Justin had to go through surgery with nothing to help with the pain. Yes, he endured great suffering but the Lord met us there that day on the operating table. As I stood next to Justin at one point the doctors could not get the bleeding to stop and Justin looked at me and asked me this question. " Momma, am I going to die?" I remember thinking to myself, " Oh lord, please, don't take him!" And again, I heard, " My child, trust me". I spoke to Justin that day and said to him, " "Justin, don't be afraid- today you will either wake up to see Jesus or your family here on earth." He looked at me and said, Momma- I'm sorry I fell and I said, oh honey, hopefully you'll have many more opportunities to fall again. He smiled in the midst of his pain and said, "me too. "

I bowed my head and prayed with him as he fell in and out of consciousness. The Lord showed His mercy on me that day.

It was a moment as a mom that I'll never forget coming face to face with God and feeling forever indebted to Him for sparing me the pain of losing a son. It brought my role as a mom in clear view and made me cherish every moment I'm given to be there for my kids. It has made me ever aware that today could be my only day with them. We aren't promised tomorrow so why should I live today like I have another day to make it up. I know that if tomorrow doesn't come for me or my children that we have lived today with sincerity and love.

Here's to having more mom moments!

This article is my submission to the blog challenge sponsored by Darlene Schacht , Author of The Mom Complex.