I've been studying in Hebrews this past year and as our House Church began to wind the study up I kind of got stuck in Chapters 11- 13.
Here is what Father has been teaching me on my Journey with Him.
" Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. For by it the men of old gained approval. By faith we understand that the worlds were prepared by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things which are visible" Hebrews 11:1-3,
" And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him." Hebrews 11:6
" All these died in faith, without receiving the promises, but having seen them and having welcomed them from a distance, and having confessed that they were strangers and exiles on the earth. For those who say such things make it clear that they are seeking a country of their own. And indeed if they had been thinking of that country from which they went out, they would have had opportunity to return. but as it is , they desire a better country, that is a Heavenly one.
THEREFORE GOD IS NOT ASHAMED TO BE CALLED THEIR GOD; FOR HE HAS PREPARED A CITY FO THEM."
Hebrews 11: 13-16
This chapter has so much in it how could I digest it in one sitting. It has taken me months to really process and learn what it is that Father wants to teach me about what it means to be faithful, to have faith in the things hoped for, to have convictions of the things I know are there but yet can't see, to understand that it is by faith we gain approval and that without faith I can not please my Heavenly Father; Jesus, To realize that He is the rewarder of those who seek Him...... I could go on but for today :) I'll just post about one aspect.
Verses 13-16-
The picture is of an older lady whom we have known now for 11 years. We don't have a deep relationship with her but a casual friendship with her. She has been shared with and knows the truth yet to our knowledge she hasn't believed. It is because of these and others who have yet to hear the Name of Jesus that my heart breaks and cries out to my Father in Heaven, " Lord , Please let me be apart of bringing the Harvest in ". I know it is a selfish cry and plea but an honest one from the depths of my heart.
Chapter 11 has brought some clarity to my life since having changed roles and jobs just over 3 years ago we moved out of being apart of the harvesting to helping with the administration of how to bring in the harvest. At the time while it was hard to leave our post and pass it off to someone else, somehow there was perfect peace to walk in obedience and to trust that Father was going to use us no matter where we served or in what compacity. It was truly the hardest transition for me personally and in some ways it was a struggle for my husband. Going from sharing our faith with the lost to leading those who were believers and then to add to that white faced americans was far from being simple. There were days we would look at each other and say, I pray we never acted like that or we would say Lord, teach us from all these that we may be changed and more like YOU. Not that everyone was bad or had issues but as we all know when you begin working with and leading other Christians especially americans. We quickly realize how bad "we ourselves included" all are at getting along and loving each other. That's for another post ! The fact is that while we truly did feel called to this role and felt we had an obligation to fulfill it for the term it wasn't easy for us to just walk out of being able to witness and share Jesus with the lostness around us and then turn all our efforts in encouraging, uplifting, helping others in their work and ministry.
Now some of you might say, why stop sharing? Well, we didn't stop sharing but when your focus and work is with those like us (white faced believers) the work changes and so much the time we spend with lostness. The Lord really did begin to show us some things and teach us some amazing things but it wasn't until I started studying in Hebrews that He began to pull all the pieces together or like I love to say," He Began threading them and making them complete by weaving them together." So what I'm actually going to share with you is the finished work of all that He's been doing in my own personal struggle of understanding why sometimes we have to do work that we feel may not be where our Joy is and how we learn to have Joy in the midst of what is very difficult. Then comes the garment of Praise-
As I went back into China and had the privilege of talking with those we shared with and lead to the Lord then it became clear to me that God was at work and was going to teach me something else from Hebrews. I was at a dinner one night with some of our dear brothers and sisters and we had asked them to share their testimony of when they came to know the Lord. Each one began to share and then came one dear sister and her husband. It was sweet to hear her talk about how she first saw God's love and how by life example ( life on life living) she saw that His Love was so different from her own. She was embarrassed and ashamed to be around us ( our family) because she always felt convicted that her Love wasn't like ours. She went to ask a malaysian friend why we were so different. This opened the door for Wakmee to share about God's love and how it changes people and touches people like our helper. She shared that for months she would see us day in and day out and how even when we got mad or upset she couldn't believe how much we cared about her that we would stop to explain that while we were upset it wasn't at the person as much as at the problem. Then she said, shared how we would always pray together and no matter how mad we got we always showed love to one another. It was because of this example that she first felt God speak to her and say she was not a good person and that she needed His Love to complete her.
I sat there and cried as she told the story and I translated. I never really knew totally how much our life on life living affected her. We had shared with her and witnessed to her but what really caused her to want to know Jesus was ultimately because she saw how our life was and how much Love we had and Joy we had even in the hardest times. She talked about our son, Justin's accident and she said, she was a believer then but still she couldn't believe how much Faith we had to trust God with our Son. She wasn't married yet and didn't have kids so she just couldn't imagine trusting in God to care of her kids let alone her Justin whom she saw and loved as her own little brother. Yet, she said, this was another example of how God used us to teach her about His love and His care for His children. She said, she remembered at the Hospital how we prayed for the doctors and the staff that they would come to know God through this experience, even before praying for their son. She said, it convicted me about my selfishness...... During this time of sharing I was reminded of the beginning of Hebrews 11 when the writer talks about those men and women of Faith who walked before us. In this instance the Lord allowed me to see how these dear brothers and sisters were being reminded of our faithfulness and it was encouraging them to remain faithful. That was so humbling because in that moment I realized and confessed," Yes, Lord, I've forgotten to remember those who have worked/labored before me and to be encouraged to press on and remain faithful......"
This testimony and others shared was so convicting to hear. Yes, it was a joy to hear how Father had used us to bring so many to faith but it was still convicting as well. I have missed being hands on and living life on life with lostness. Yet these past few years have taught us so much about how to live in community and how that is so important. It is what we need to model to the church in the Big country. It is the next step....... I was reminded in reflecting upon the conversation that I had just been given a glimpse into why we had to walk these past 3 years and how important it was going to be for us to model what we have learned. Share openly our own failures and victories of these past few years and to pass on to those younger in the faith so that they will not flounder or struggle in the same ways. We have a duty to proclaim GOD's FAITHFULNESS and His provision in all situations.
How does all this fit into Hebrews 11 you ask?
When I began studying Hebrews I was learning so much about Who Jesus was and how neat it was the progression of this book from Creation to Christ to the laborers and how neat it was that CHRIST was weaved through and through..... But what struck me was that there were times in these past 4 years that I have truly wanted to quit and to just go back to the states. There have been times when all I could see was the "Grass was greener over there( in the states). When I read Hebrews 11 I was shocked back to Right thinking.... I had taken my eyes off of JESUS first of all and had focused on my circumstances. I had forgotten of the many who have been FAITHFUL in the past and forgotten to look back to their faithfulness to spur me on to do the things I know CHRIST has called me to do. And finally I had not been willing to step out in FAITH knowing that what God was Calling me to He would be faithful to accomplish. That without faith I was not going to please Him and that "just doing" the work here in Asia didn't necessarily mean that was pleasing Christ. Especially if He was calling me /us to do something else. Change is never easy especially if it means getting more education for what lies ahead.
So, this last thread is really taking all of that and weaving it together, re-learning how to step out in faith; trusting the Lord for something I can't see and knowing that He is in control of all that is seen and unseen. It is learning again, that it is by Faith that others before me gained approval and that while I am secure in my faith; rather I am faithful or not, the blessing of walking in Obedience towards completion is necessary and since I am a believer then I too am gaining approval through my own obedience and Faith. It is realizing that with or with out me God will accomplish the work. I've seen this time and time again when I have stalled out or just not been obedient I see that He calls someone else to do the job I was meant to do. OUCH! It is realizing that My FAITH isn't just a one time occurrence but should be lived out day to day and that I should desire to please my Father in heaven through my Faith being lived out in the day to day things. I have seen how the Lord has had to take me back to the beginning of our ministry and show me how He has used us and how I need to not forget that even if He choses to use me in different ways I have to trust Him and not look back at the life I once had. Keeping my eyes on the eternal things not earthly things.
So may I close with this :
Phil. 3:13-14
"Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."
Luke 9:23-25
"If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he is the one who will save it. For what is a man profited if he gains the whole world, and loses or forfeits himself? For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when He comes in His glory, and the glory of the Father and of the holy angels."
May we all be ready to step out in Faith not fearing what lies ahead nor looking back at what was but looking to the Heavens knowing that our home is not here on earth but in Heaven. May we all realize that it is Christ who is the author and finisher of all things and that it is in HIM that we do all we do and may we not forget those who have walked in Faith before us - remembering their faithfulness and sacrifices which gives us HOPE to continue on even if we can not see the fruits of our labor. May we be encouraged to do the same and to look to Christ whom we are made complete because of HIS sacrifice and love!
A Garment of Praise - To My father in Heaven, Thank you for using me and molding me into Your image!
Melissa
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