" Love is patient, Love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all thins, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails; " 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
I'm not sure if anyone has ever heard of SYIS " sharpening your interpersonal skills"? If not, well it's a workshop to help sharpen your interpersonal skills:). It really is a wonderful faith based workshop that helps sharpen our skills in dealing with people. How to be an effective leader, dealing with conflict, helping others deal with conflict, ways to better handle stress and grief.
This past week I took this workshop along side my husband, Dwayne. I have to say it was a great experience. Both Dwayne and I work with a lot of different people and conflict is often apart of the life and work we do. It's not all bad, mind you, but it is challenging at times to keep instep with Father and not walk in the flesh.
This week as I go back over each chapter I'm focused on what things kill relationships.
The Lord has grown me a lot in this area. I still have so much to learn but wow, it's so nice to see that I've grown and matured in some areas.
There are still some areas that I find I still have a problem and I'm still working on changing those things that do kill relationships. Now some of you are probably thinking, " What does it mean to kill a relationship"?
Here is what I mean.
We all have verbal and nonverbal things we do as we spend time with people and depending on what we do in both these areas can determine if you are hurting or helping your friendship.
here are some of the Nonverbal:
Act sleepy, yawn
Answer your hand phone while carrying on a conversation
Not putting down your reading material while someone is talking to you
Turning away from the speaker
Not giving eye contact or staring off into space
Have your arms folded
Watching T.V. while someone is talking to you
Closing your eyes while someone is talking to you
Look bored, impatient, or roll your eyes
Move around a lot
Remain seated while the person speaking is standing ( not sure I agree with this one )
Smile or wave at someone walking by... Ouch...
Can you see yourself in any of these situations? I sure could and while most of us don't do these intentionally, we need to be made aware of these things less you begin hurting friendships before they really get going!
Verbal
Ask alot of questions but do nothing with them
Belittle or condemn the person speaking or others
Discount the problem: Oh, it's not that bad or Do you think you're making a big deal out of nothing.
Finish the person's sentence ( ouch)
Interrupt often
Keep changing the subject
Turn the subject to yourself or your problems
There are a lot of others too.
here is what the Lord has been teaching me :
Col. 3: 12 says: " Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with Compassion, Kindness, Humility, Gentleness and Patience."
This week Let's take time to reflect on each one of these.
James 3:17 says: " But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere."
Here is the thing that really hit me hard.
1. We are to clothe ourselves with : Compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. It isn't an option for us but rather it is expected since we are " God's Chosen People, holy and dearly loved."
2. The wisdom that comes from our LORD and savior is : pure, peace-loving, considerate, submissive , full of mercy , good fruit, impartial and finally sincere.
This made me think about how the Lord has been teaching me the importance of learning to Love everyone and accept everyone where they are -We really don't have any other option. Ever said to yourself, " not someone I want to get to know." ? If we were all honest that isn't really an option for us as Christians. Anyway, I fell really hard once in a friendship and it was a hard lesson in understanding what it means to be a faithful friend. I have hurt people in my life who I considered friends from some of these very things listed in the verbal and nonverbal " relationship killers". Was it intentional? NO- it wasn't but none the less it hurt those who were trying to befriend me or who were and still are my friends.
I guess what the Lord has brought me back to this week is this: That I am His Daughter and because of His choice of me I have a responsibility to Clothe myself with certain characteristics befitting His Child. If I do these things then Wisdom which comes from above will flow in this way: pure, peace- loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy, good fruit, impartial, and sincere. I am almost certain that I would my friends would be blessed if this is the way I acted towards them at all times.
There was a situation where I have spoken what I thought was wisdom but it was none of the above. My message while it may have be true was not spoken with wisdom from above but of my flesh. Thus it caused all kinds of hurt and pain not just in the lives of others but in my life as well.
Oh what a gracious Lord we serve! I am so thankful that we have a God of Second Chances!
Repentance is a wonderful thing and Forgiveness is truly a gift of mercy!
Today, I pray that the Lord would begin to reveal to you relationships which you may have been unintentionally hurting others. I pray that the holy spirit begins to bring these things to your attention and you begin to confess them and change them.
Here's to Being Clothed with Compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.....
And reaching for the wisdom from above so that it flows first: pure, then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.
blessings!
Melissa
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